While he sleeps

What I should be doing  - showering, cleaning the kitchen, laundry

What I am doing - pinterest and facebook

The downside

The downside about having a boy is I have the potential to be "that" mother-in-law someday...

Yes, I'm neurotic and worrying about my 4 month old son's future (very very very very future) wedding day.

I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. Others I know, don't.

It could be so good, or so so bad.

I brought this up with my sister... her response was...

"just remember that he was given to you by God. You were entrusted with him but ultimately he isn't yours. You have him for a short time, so use that time to encourage him and love him and give him  the confidence he needs to do exceptionally well in the world. And good boys who love their moms marry nice girls. Like us!!"

She's a smart one!

Have you ever wondered...

what would have happened if you...

- had the profession you said you wanted at 5years old
- stayed at your first job and never took the risk at a better one
- went to a different collage
- married the first guy you "loved"
- never got married at all
- never meet your current best friend
- stayed besties with your middle school BFF

the "what ifs" are endless...

Sometimes I think about them and realize... I'm happy where I am. And any of those what if's would have changed my story, my path and I may not be married to my best friend and hanging out with a wonderfully adorable 4 month old and spending time with my close friends and working with our church family. I'll admit I get a little crazy on the lack of sleep and wish I could just shut down and step away and not have to worry every second of every day about Mister L. But then he goes to bed for the night and I miss him. I look forward to feeding him at 230AM because it means I get to cuddle him. This mother hood thing is such a roller coaster!

I so grateful I'm not in control of my life, because who knows where I'd be if I was calling the shots!

Favorite thing my sister has ever said to me

"I'm working on not being a totally insane mother. Because I have so much potential in that department"  - RE

There and back again

The last few weeks have been crazy busy and I'm not totally sure why. Mister L and I did go on a little trip out west to visit family but that was only four days (I'm not sure I would have survived more, I love being home!)

Turns out Mister L is a good little traveler, it's in the blood I guess, and had almost no issues flying. He got a little fussy when we were stuck on the plane for an extra two hours because of some technical difficulties, really I was fussy about it too! It turned a 4hr flight into a 6hr flight and  we almost missed our connecting flight on the other end. He managed the two hour time change not to badly, and even when he fought sleep, once it was all over he stayed asleep in his bed

Everyone was so happy to see him and we took tons of pictures. He even had his first backhoe ride.

I'm glad we made the trip but I'm happier to be home. 

My Favorite Things - baby edition

When I made our baby registry I felt overwhelmed with all the options and wasn't sure I NEEDED all those things. How could one little baby require so much! The list below has the things we found most important for our Mister L. Everyone is different so I won't say these items are must haves for everyone. They where/are the things we found the most useful.

*Muslin swaddling blankets - Mister L hates being hot. Regular receiving blankets were a no go. I did some research I found people in warmer climates suggested using muslin swaddling blankets since they breath well and don't tend to over heat the baby. We tried the JJ Cole ones first (link) and loved them but there were only 2 in the pack so we ordered a 3 pack from Luna Lullaby (This pattern) ones off of Baby Steals. I love the patterns and they do get softer with every wash. We also have the itty bitty blanket (Link) by Luna Lullaby which Mister L loves to chew on.








*Sleep Monkey - white noise stuffed monkey by Cloud b. We purchased this 4 days after Mister L was born. I'm not sure who this relaxed more, him and me. We use the ocean setting. Also its just adorable looking.

*Swing - this was the only thing he'd nap in for the first 2 months of his life. I borrowed one from my cousin so I'm not actually sure what kind it is.











*Sleepy Wrap - We used this almost right away. Link So comfortable and while it looks complicated to tie, I had it down after the first two tires. I use this when I know he's going to be in there for a long time. If I nee a quick baby wearing solution I use my Hevenly Bundle Sling (Link), another Baby Steals find.

* Bouncer - only because I need to shower to feel human and this way he can hang out in the bathroom with me, he's discovered the toys so he's enjoying it for longer periods of time. We really don't use it much besides shower time. We have a Bright Stars Turtle one



*Sophie the Giraffe - because Mister L decided to grow teeth at 3 months. Sophie is easy for him to hold and the leg fits perfectly into his mouth. He also enjoys chewing on her head, weird kid.

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*Pacifiers - a wonderful invention, calms him down, helps him sleep and isn't his fingers, since he loves to suck those too.

I'm sure there are more things but those are the things that come to mind right now. And I'm sure my list will be VERY different in a few months, he's always changing and growing and the things we will use will change right along with him. 

9/11

1 year ago I found out I was pregnant
10 years ago a terrorist  attack killed thousands and sparked a war that killed thousands more.

For me today is the perfect example of  life and death and the circle it creates. What a different world my child will grow up in. So different then the one I did.

Having my own child makes me hurt even more for the men and women who lost sons and daughters that day and in the years to follow because of it.

Today is bittersweet.

3 month olds shouldn't be teething

that is all.

Nap

He will nap in his crib one day.... right????

I rock him to sleep - he looks asleep - he's stopped sucking on his soother - his eyes are closed - he looks asleep, promise.

I put him down  - slowly - very very very slowly, rocking as I go. I turn on the sleep monkey sound machine. I walk very quietly and quickly out of the room.

20 minutes he's awake...

thankfully this only happens during the day. As soon as 8pm rolls around we're very happy to sleep in our crib...

Just going to have to keep trying because he's not napping in his swing much anymore and while I love cuddling him, nothing is every going to get done around here if he sleeps on me... We have lots of cuddles in the morning, I'm not willing to give up all his naps on me yet, but one or two with him in the crib would mean some time to get things done... like blog:)

As I write this he's been in his crib for 30min, sleeping... that's 10 min longer then any other time... today we have a win!

Starting Fresh

I've blogged before - before I had a child, before I was married, before I worked full time, before I was done school. Now it's after all those things.

I've been thinking about starting this whole blogging thing again for a few months now. In the sleepless hours of the night (feeding a growing 3 month old), there are countless thoughts, emotions, words floating around in my head, begging to be let out. Ask my family, I'm a talker. A talker who's now a full time mom with only Mister L to talk to most hours of the day. And while I love conversing with the 3 month old, he's not so interested in much more then eating, playing and sleeping. He's untouched by the more complicated parts of life and I'd love to leave it that way for as long as possible. (Insert jumble of emotions because  I never want my baby to grow up).

2 month ago I almost started a blog, I went as far as to make a list of things I could write about. 1 month ago I opened a new blog, picked a layout and background and never wrote a word. I convinced myself  I'm not a good writer and blogging should be left to people who are, and besides who would be interested in what I have to say anyway. In the last 2 week, two people close to me started blogging, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading them - they got added to my Google reader along with all the other blogs I read in the many (hours, minutes, seconds) I spend nursing.

Then the last few days, or should I say nights, I couldn't sleep. Mister L has been sleeping from 830pm - 330am and I wasn't able sleep until after 130am (which totally sucks when you know your up in less then 2 hours because someone needs a middle of the night snack). My husband kept telling me to turn my brain off and go to sleep, easy when your him, impossible when your me.

This blog is for me - an outlet for my thoughts, a place to empty my head, a record of the new chapter I'm in, a list of memories as Mister L grows. If you want to read it, welcome, I'm happy to have you but if no one ever finds this, it will still be worth it. It will help me sleep at night.

PS any guesses  on how long this'll last...